Tuesday, July 22, 2008

as my thoughts fly II

Losing someone we love is the very painful feeling we couldn’t bear. As a humble slave who rent the life, this is the truth that we couldn’t erase nor choose. Inevitable.

One of my colleague, she just lost her mother to leukemia. Al-Fatihah. I felt disappointed because I wasn’t beside her, because we just had this close heart-to-heart conversation about it the days before. I know how much her feeling, and I know we shouldn’t hurt like this.

It suddenly reminds me of my old sentiment; I once experienced a bad anxious. I mean a very serious and unhealthy feeling. I even had my decision not to go to college because I want to stay at home, I want to take care of my family because I am not afford to let anything unwanted happen while I am not at home, or beside them. Or the least I can do was calling them every minute or even if my bf didn’t answer the phone, am like starting to think that something bad is happen. Psycho? I know he was uncomfortable with me, but I dunno. I maybe act like that because I care so much.

I told my aunt wati (my maksu) about my behavior and what she said was so simple but surprise “ what if that unwanted happen to you ?” I was like, yes..she so damn right. When the time comes, we go. Everybody will, include me..and you! When I was suffer a miserable year because of losing my granma, I had this very good book (Hidup Sesudah Mati, Bey Ariffin) taught me to let go. I mustn’t feel gloom. But feel glad because she just had reached the better place.
Yes, we were in a world apart but we live good, somewhere only we know. And its so beautiful that I still carry the Love, wherever I may roam.

2 comments:

KzArtz said...

:( - sgt sedih.. tp lebih baik let the feeling go and hidup dgn baik. tak bermakna kita lupakan dia tp sebenarnya itu buat dia lebih tenang di sana kerana org2 yg menyayanginya hidup dgn baik dan tahu kita sentiasa mendoakan dia.. amin.
p/s-sampaikan salam takziah utk dia n family. tabahkan hati.

Nurul Khairunie said...

love means saying bye bye without even meaning it.
alfatihah.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

as my thoughts fly II

Losing someone we love is the very painful feeling we couldn’t bear. As a humble slave who rent the life, this is the truth that we couldn’t erase nor choose. Inevitable.

One of my colleague, she just lost her mother to leukemia. Al-Fatihah. I felt disappointed because I wasn’t beside her, because we just had this close heart-to-heart conversation about it the days before. I know how much her feeling, and I know we shouldn’t hurt like this.

It suddenly reminds me of my old sentiment; I once experienced a bad anxious. I mean a very serious and unhealthy feeling. I even had my decision not to go to college because I want to stay at home, I want to take care of my family because I am not afford to let anything unwanted happen while I am not at home, or beside them. Or the least I can do was calling them every minute or even if my bf didn’t answer the phone, am like starting to think that something bad is happen. Psycho? I know he was uncomfortable with me, but I dunno. I maybe act like that because I care so much.

I told my aunt wati (my maksu) about my behavior and what she said was so simple but surprise “ what if that unwanted happen to you ?” I was like, yes..she so damn right. When the time comes, we go. Everybody will, include me..and you! When I was suffer a miserable year because of losing my granma, I had this very good book (Hidup Sesudah Mati, Bey Ariffin) taught me to let go. I mustn’t feel gloom. But feel glad because she just had reached the better place.
Yes, we were in a world apart but we live good, somewhere only we know. And its so beautiful that I still carry the Love, wherever I may roam.

2 comments:

KzArtz said...

:( - sgt sedih.. tp lebih baik let the feeling go and hidup dgn baik. tak bermakna kita lupakan dia tp sebenarnya itu buat dia lebih tenang di sana kerana org2 yg menyayanginya hidup dgn baik dan tahu kita sentiasa mendoakan dia.. amin.
p/s-sampaikan salam takziah utk dia n family. tabahkan hati.

Nurul Khairunie said...

love means saying bye bye without even meaning it.
alfatihah.